|
Rest and Romance is pleased to include the following excerpt from Nancy C. Anderson's book "Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome". Nancy shares humorous, thought-provoking ideas to help bring back the spark to your marriage. You know you love each other, but you just need a little jump start to bring back the romance that our heavy, demanding schedules seem to drain from us everyday. Revive your Romance with a little help from Rest and Romance. We don't create romance for you, we just offer ideas to give it some spark.Keep the Flame Alive!
Nancy C. Anderson, Contributing Writer.
If you've been married for awhile, it's easy to get into a rut, and the
longer you're married, the deeper your rut may get. Rut-dwellers usually just
stay home and watch TV -- sometimes in separate rooms. Then on special
occasions, they might have dinner at the usual neighborhood burger barn or go
see a movie at the local theatre. But that's about as exotic as it gets.
Booorrriinngg! If you want to climb out of your rut and try new things, here
are some easy-to-implement ideas to give you a boost. Think of the word DATES
to stimulate the "creative dating" quadrant of your brain: DELICIOUS
ADVENTUROUS THEMATIC EDUCATIONAL SURPRISING
Delicious Dating
They say the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but it's true
for women, too. Ron, my husband of 26 years, and I love to try new
restaurants. Whether we discover a down-home barbecue-rib joint, a mom-and-pop
pizza parlor, or a cozy little soup and salad café, we're trying something
new-together. We have a book that lists restaurants by categories and price
so, depending upon our mood and budget, we can have several choices. Sometimes
Ron will pick one, or I may choose, or we'll just pick one at random. If
you're on a tight budget, you can always split an entrée and order an extra
salad. You can also have a delicious date at home by making a meal together.
If you have kids, make them some macaroni and cheese and send them to bed
early. Then make a romantic or exotic dinner as a team. My cousin, Linda,
loves to cook alongside her husband. They have a custom-built kitchen with
twin sinks, doublewide countertops, and two dishwashers. But even if you don't
have a fancy kitchen, you can chop and sauté as a team. Remember, there is no
right or wrong way to date and dine, just do what you enjoy --
together. Adventurous Dating Most of us
won't be able to do exotic things like sky diving or traveling on an African
Safari, but there are ways to find adventures in our own neighbor-hoods and
within our budgets. Do something out of the ordinary; discover a new exciting
activity for both of you. Look through the newspaper together. Find the
weirdest event -- then go! You could choose a dog show, a chicken plucking
competition, a poetry reading, or a watermelon seed-spitting contest. You
might even find a new hobby. Traveling in a new mode of transportation could
also be a wonderful new way to see the world, or your hometown. One year for
our anniversary, we went for a ride in a horse-drawn carriage. I once borrowed
a friend's red convertible, and we went for a sunset drive along the ocean
shoreline. If you have the money for a special occasion, a limousine is a
wonderfully romantic mode of getting from point A to point B. If you can't fit
a limo into your budget, most bike shops will rent you a snazzy bicycle built
for two. Be adventurous: do something new! Thematic
Dating If you want to have a special occasion date, build it
around a theme. You could include the kids on these dates. It's good for them
to see their parents holding hands and having fun. A fifties date might
include driving to a malt shop while playing a "Hits of the Fifties" CD and,
then, after you share a chocolate malt -- two straws please -- rent a James
Dean movie. A western theme date might include chowing down at a rib-joint,
going horseback riding, or watching a Roy Roger's movie. If you live in a
larger city, you probably have ethnic neighborhoods called Little Italy or
China Town. A German village lies less than a mile from our house, and Ron and
I love to go there. We usually consume mass quantities of schinkenwurst and
streusel, then waddle down the cobblestone streets and pretend we're on
vacation in Düsseldorf. Some other theme dates might include "Hawaiian
Paradise in Our Own Backyard" or, if you haven't pulled weeds in a while,
"Jungle Adventure in Our Own Backyard." The man of the house would love a date
night called "Baseball Fever" or better yet, send the kids to grandmas and
build your theme around "Touch Football"! Educational
Dates Ron and I both love to spend the afternoon
browsing through art galleries and discussing what we like and don't like
about various pieces. If you don't like art, museums are wonderful places to
learn about history and science. Most men would enjoy a train museum, a
history of hockey exhibit, or a classic auto display. You could choose to get
a more formal education together, too. Most cities and junior colleges offer a
variety of adult evening classes, usually lasting only a few weeks and having
low tuition costs. The two of you might want to take a class in photography,
computer skills, or gardening. Many churches offer Bible study courses. If you
take one together and do your homework together, your spiritual relationship
will grow along with your emotional and educational connection. SURPRISING
DATES One of the differences between newlyweds and "oldlyweds" is
that people who've been married for a long time usually stop surprising each
other. It's not that they can't do it; often they just get lazy. But you can
change that. If you know that your mate would love to go to a certain event or
concert, surprise him or her with tickets. Ron knows that, as a teenager, I
had a mega-crush on Paul McCartney, so he bought two tickets for his concert
as a surprise. Wow, did he get a big reward for that! (Ron, I mean, not Paul)
You could also plan a less expensive "mystery night." Make all the
arrangements, then call your date and say to him or her, "Meet me on the
corner of Fifth and Main at six o'clock." Ladies, you could plan a free
surprise by calling your husband just as he's leaving work, and whispering,
"I'm cold and lonely, come home and warm me up!" After he breaks all the speed
limits, arriving home in half the usual time, greet him with a kid-free house,
a warm backrub, and a hot bath. It won't cost you anything except your time
and attention, and those are the most valuable things you have to offer. If
you experience new things as a team, you'll have completely new topics of
conversation and each of these experiences will help you climb up and out of
your rut. Don't forget to have fun in your marriage. REJOICE with the
husband/wife of your youth." ~ Proverbs 5:18 Adapted from Avoiding the Greener
Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage (Kregel
Publications, 2004). For other articles by Nancy Anderson please visit her
website, http://www.NancyCAnderson.com.
To see our selection of highly fragrant soy candles and oils click on the link below. We offer twenty-two different fragrances in our soy candles and fragrance oils. Whatever mood you are in can be complemented by our fragrances and bed linens.
Romance Products
|